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Water Is Dangerous

Sep

15, 2011 |

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When news of Hurricane Irena came, I happened to be vacationing in Virginia Beach with my husband’s family. The morning before we were scheduled to evacuate, the Port Authority came by and posted this flag next to our waterfront beach house:

Now, I won’t go into all the implications for the real-life scenario of this posted warning (rip-tides, being pulled under, etc.).

Rather, I am sending out a warning to all those contemplating entering the waters of writing.

WARNING: Water Is Dangerous

Top 5 Dangers:

Book Brain. All spare brain power (and brain power that isn’t so spare) is sucked into the void that is called plotting. Side effects include burned dinners, failure to pick up loved ones at scheduled times, taking wrong exits on the interstate, etc.
Carpal Tunnel. Numbness of hands and mind. All that typing and writing can only lead to one thing. I mean besides a book.
Schizophrenia. Voices whisper in your mind. Worse, they don’t listen to you.
E-mail Addiction. Neurotic need to constantly refresh your inbox. Because surely that agent whose had your ms for a day will finally respond NOW (as opposed to twenty seconds ago).
Shattered Ego Syndrome. Certainty that your written work is crap. This includes Works-in-Progress, comments on blogs, and even grocery lists (because seriously, did you misspell ~~Brocolli~~ Broccoli again?)

Now let the records show. You have been warned!

So, what warnings would you add?

Speak up:

26 comments

| TAGS:

Hurricane Irena, Port Authority, Schizophrenia, Water is Dangerous, writing

Life’s Too Short to Dry Tupperware

Sep

12, 2011 |

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Today I’m going to do something I don’t often do, which is to write a serious post. This past week has been full of craziness, and I’m feeling kind of somber.

Last week, my really good friend got the call. Not the good kind we author’s often dream about. Just the opposite. The worst kind you can get . . . her mother (who had been suffering from Lou Gehrig’s disease) was fading fast, and could she come?

Then, completely unrelated, Tropical Storm Lee paid us a visit. And let me tell you, I have never seen rain come down that hard for so long. Truly, it was astounding to watch. So I really can’t blame the mother who went outside with her son and daughter to enjoy the amazingness of something I had surely never seen in my lifetime.

My heart still breaks when I think about it. A flash flood—right through their backyard—that swept away her 12-year-old son.

And of course, the week culminated with Sept.11. The tenth anniversary, no less. I sat at my computer last night and I looked through National Geographic’s 25 indelible pictures, and I felt the horror of that day once again.

The point of all this is that life is too short to worry about things that don’t matter (like drying the tupperware). It’s also too short to NOT worry about the things that do. Play with your kids, call your parents or siblings. Tell them you love them, and don’t let things that really don’t matter get in the way.

And you know how you’ve been putting off editing that book you wrote? Or writing anything past the first chapter? Or querying the book you just finished? Well Nike knew what they were talking about:

Just Do It.

Don’t wait. Because life’s too short.

Speak up:

29 comments

| TAGS:

Lou Gehrig's Disease, Nike+, Sept. 11, Tropical Storm Lee

Apples to Apples Winners

Sep

08, 2011 |

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This post is already going to be epic, so I won’t bore you with a long prelude. Voila, the winning answers:

Day 1: Darth Vader

Asmatic (because, yeah) by R. Garret Wilson (+3)
Yikes! (because I never want to meet him!) by Lenny (+2)
Legos (because Legos are taking over my life) by Kelly (+1)

And an honorary win goes to Theresa Milstein for Lavendar. Because her link made me smile. Click HERE to see it.

Day 2: Stereotyped

Bose (because I love a good play on words!) by Beth (+3)
Asian mathematician (because its so TRUE!) by Lori M. Lee (+2)
Mary Sue (because I’m a writer) by Amy Sonnichsen (+1)

Day 3: Rubber Gloves

Comet (because I grew up cleaning with Comet) by LTM (+3)
Super-villain (because I’d rather face one of those than the “exams” everyone else mentioned) by Bethany Elizabeth (+2)
Dishes (because it’s unfortunately true) by Reb’s Photo World (first to mention it) (+1)

Day 4: Charming

Toilet Paper (because that’s just funny) by Lenny (+3)
TIE: Chris Philips by Chris Philips (+2)
TIE: Older Brother by MikeS (my real life older brother) (+2)

And the because on those? Yeah, if they have the moxy to put it out there, who am I not to laugh?

Day 5: Phony

Baloney (because who doesn’t like to say “Phony Baloney”?) by Lenny (+3)
Reality TV (because that’s about as phony as it gets) by Sarah Nicolas (+2)
Folex (because I LOVE making up words) by Amy Sonnichsen (+1)

Day 6: License Plates

Janet Sumner Johnson (because “Booyeah!” I’ve left my mark!) by R. Garret Wilson (first to mention me) (+3)
Criminals (because I find it hilarious that I’m right in there with the criminals) by Theresa Milstein (+2)
Drive-thru dinner ware (because it made me giggle) by MikeS (+1)

Day 7: Pigs

Miss Piggy (because there’s so much back story there I don’t have the space to tell you) by Reb’s Photo World (+3)
Fly (because they do!) by LTM (+2)
Christmas Ham (because I really wanted to choose BACON! but it was submitted too late) by Robyn Campbell (+1)

Day 8: Squeaky Clean

Sterilized Mice (because I fell off my chair when I read it) by MikeS (+3)
The money I made from organized crime (because LOL) by Chris Philips (+2)
OCD (because I don’t know anything about that. Really.) by CarolynV (+1)

Day 9: Absurd

The National Debt (because le sigh) by MikeS (+3)
Albert Camus (because I had to read his stuff for my thesis and he IS!) by Beth (+2)
Turd (because I feel like a little kid saying it and then giggling) by Sangu (+1)*

Day 10: Pond Scum

Delinquent Goldfish (because ROFL!) by Chris Philips (+3)
Pogo Sticks (because it’s SO random!) by LTM (+2)
Ex-boyfriend (because I may have had one of those) by Missed Periods (+1)

Thank you to everyone who played along with me! I had a blast reading through all your answers, and can I just mention how HARD it was to choose? I’m thinking I’ll have to do this again some time. Okay, so tallying up the scores, here are the winners:

1st Place:

MikeS

2nd Place:

Lenny Lee

3rd Place (TIE):

Chris Philips and LTM

Since there are 4 winners, I’ll add Mystery Prize Pack #2. First place gets the prize pack of his choice and then so on with the leftovers. I have e-mailed them all and will have shiny prizes in the mail as soon as the choices are all in. Thanks again for playing!

*Note: The author of this post does not encourage the use of the word Turd. 😉

Speak up:

17 comments

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Apples to Apples

Apples to Apples Contest: Prizes to Win!

Sep

01, 2011 |

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Perhaps I should have done this in the beginning, but to entice you to play this game with me, here are the prize packages to be won by the top three contestants:

The Possession Prize Package:

Includes:

Hardback copy of Possession by Elana Johnson
$25 Gift Card to Best Buy (you’ll be wanting lots of cool tech after reading Possession)
An Idea Book and Pen (because any good writer needs one)

The MG/PB Prize Package:

Includes:

The Lost Hero by Rick Riordan
Bear Snores On by Karma Wilson, illustrated by Jane Chapman
An Idea Book and Pen

The Mystery Prize Package:

Includes:

Ha! I got you . . . as if I’d reveal what’s in there.
The tantalizing unknown (because who can resist that?)

For the complete rules, click here, but really, it’s basic word association. So go ahead, click on over and add your responses for each contest day.

Apples to Apples Contest Day 1
Apples to Apples Contest Day 2
Apples to Apples Contest Day 3
Apples to Apples Contest Day 4
Apples to Apples Contest Day 5
Apples to Apples Contest Day 6
Apples to Apples Contest Day 7
Apples to Apples Contest Day 8
Apples to Apples Contest Day 9
Apples to Apples Contest Day 10

And remember, the contest closes at Midnight, EDT, 4 September 2011. May the most clever answers win!

P.S. I won’t be here Monday, as I’ll be out there laboring or something for, you know, Labor Day. And my blogging friend Amy just nabbed an agent, so go congratulate her at The Green Bathtub if you get a chance. So excited for her!

Speak up:

28 comments

| TAGS:

Apples to Apples, Elana Johnson, Janet Chapman, Karma Wilson, Mystery prize, Possession, Rick Riordan

Apples to Apples Contest: Day 10 (Final day!)

Aug

31, 2011 |

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For the complete rules on how to play, click here. Otherwise, it’s word-association–choose a word (or short phrase) associated with my word:

Pond Scum

And just as a reminder, you have until midnight EDT on Sunday, September 4 to add an entry to any of these 10 posts.

Speak up:

26 comments

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Apples to Apples

Platform-building Campaign

Aug

30, 2011 |

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Hi all! Just a quick pause from the Apples to Apples Contest for a brief public service announcement . . .

After watching the first two Platform-building Campaigns over at Rachel Harrie’s blog, Rach Writes, I’ve decided to finally join in. They have been amazingly successful under Rach’s watchful eye.

You have until August 31st to join, so if you are interested in building your platform and helping others build theirs, head on over to her site to see what it entails. Just click here for the information. 🙂

And for any other campaigners out there, I look forward to meeting you!

Finally, don’t forget, you have until Sunday, 4 September 2011 to enter a response on any of the Apples to Apples Contest days. I’m loving your cleverness!