Dear Grammar Nazi,
I need your help. Your answer will effect a lot of people as we have a little bet going on at the office. See, Bill in Accounting says that ‘affect’ is a verb and ‘effect’ is a noun, but I’ve been using verbs for years now, and I’m certain ‘effect’ is a verb.
Rita in HR says we should ‘just look in a stinkin’ dictionary for crying out loud,’ but I trust you over a guy named “Merri” any day. So who’s right?
Counting on your help to pay off the bowling jersey and matching shoe set I splurged on. Best dressed bowler on the office team, baby!
Mr. Kirk N. Scottie
Dear Mr. Scottie,
The Grammar Nazi
Dear Grammar Nazi,
I am your biggest fan! I’m starting a fan club because you speak English so good. . . . or is it well? No wait, good, right? I think . . .
Dangit! Now I forgot my question.
You’re 4ever Fan!
Johnny B. Good
P.S. Upon reflection, I wish to modify my response. When a language is invented that is called “Good,” then you may say “you speak Good.” Until that time, please refrain.
I always have trouble deciding when to use lay vs. lie. I’ve almost given up on the issue. Please help me!
Yours truly,
[name redacted]
P.S. You would LOVE Larry the Cableguy. Git R Done!
Dear [name redacted],
As far as ‘lay vs. lie’ goes, I would be lying if I said the misuse of these didn’t concern me. I have lain awake many a night worrying about it. When I received your question, I lay there for hours wondering how best to lay down the law. I laid my pen and paper next to me in case inspiration hit. It didn’t.
Lucky for me, Grammar Girl already laid out the rules. In the end, I highly recommend you purchase “Grammar for Dummies” as even Grammar Girl confesses to looking these words up every time she uses them. Tonight, I can lie down in peace, knowing there is one less person in the world misusing these words.
Sincerely,
The Grammar Nazi
P.S. Larry the Cableguy is a favorite of mine . . . an unending source of material!
Do you have a question for The Grammar Nazi? Send them to rjljohnson [dot] janet [at] gmail [dot] com.