Janet Sumner Johnson
About Author Visits Blog Books Events Contact Press Kit

Grammar Nazi

Dear Grammar Nazi

Jun

09, 2010 |

Filed in:

Uncategorized

Dear Grammar Nazi,

I need your help. Your answer will effect a lot of people as we have a little bet going on at the office. See, Bill in Accounting says that ‘affect’ is a verb and ‘effect’ is a noun, but I’ve been using verbs for years now, and I’m certain ‘effect’ is a verb.

Rita in HR says we should ‘just look in a stinkin’ dictionary for crying out loud,’ but I trust you over a guy named “Merri” any day. So who’s right?

Counting on your help to pay off the bowling jersey and matching shoe set I splurged on. Best dressed bowler on the office team, baby!

Mr. Kirk N. Scottie

Dear Mr. Scottie,

Wow, I hate to think what kind of bets are taking place in your office that what I say would effect actual people. Right up there with the birds and bees. But perhaps you only meant I might affect people. I’ll pretend you did.
Ironically, you are both right.
Affect is a verb, as in to influence. For example:
Effect is a noun that can also be used as a verb. Noun:
And as a verb, meaning to cause or bring about:
Hope that helps as I’ve given you all that I got, capt’n.
Sincerely,

The Grammar Nazi

Speak up:

19 comments

| TAGS:

, , ,

Dear Grammar Nazi

May

26, 2010 |

Filed in:

Uncategorized

Dear Grammar Nazi,

I am your biggest fan! I’m starting a fan club because you speak English so good. . . . or is it well? No wait, good, right? I think . . .

Dangit! Now I forgot my question.

You’re 4ever Fan!

Johnny B. Good

Dear Mr. Good,
I’m honored. Truly I am. And that’s a very good question you didn’t ask.
That reminds me of a story I never told. About a good well that welled water well. So well, in fact, that the welled water tasted really good. Gooder . . . er . . . I mean better than water that wasn’t from a good well. And well, that good well sold well when they put it up for auction because the welled water was so good. The owner made a good profit.
Is that as clear as mud? . . . Get it?!!! Mud?! Water?!! Cause the water in the ground would make mud?!!! Oh, I do crack me up.
Alas, for real help, I must defer to Grammar Girl again. She explains this concept well. And what with the explanations of linking verbs vs. action verbs . . . well, suffice it to say, you have it on good authority that it is okay to say “I’m good” when someone asks you how you’re doing. You do not, however, have my permission to say “you speak good.” Ever. And I mean that.
Most sincerely,
The Grammar Nazi

P.S. Upon reflection, I wish to modify my response. When a language is invented that is called “Good,” then you may say “you speak Good.” Until that time, please refrain.

Speak up:

16 comments

| TAGS:

, , ,

Dear Grammar Nazi

May

19, 2010 |

Filed in:

Uncategorized
Dear Grammar Nazi,

I always have trouble deciding when to use lay vs. lie. I’ve almost given up on the issue. Please help me!

Yours truly,
[name redacted]

P.S. You would LOVE Larry the Cableguy. Git R Done!

Dear [name redacted],

As far as ‘lay vs. lie’ goes, I would be lying if I said the misuse of these didn’t concern me. I have lain awake many a night worrying about it. When I received your question, I lay there for hours wondering how best to lay down the law. I laid my pen and paper next to me in case inspiration hit. It didn’t.

Lucky for me, Grammar Girl already laid out the rules. In the end, I highly recommend you purchase “Grammar for Dummies” as even Grammar Girl confesses to looking these words up every time she uses them. Tonight, I can lie down in peace, knowing there is one less person in the world misusing these words.

Sincerely,

The Grammar Nazi

P.S. Larry the Cableguy is a favorite of mine . . . an unending source of material!

Do you have a question for The Grammar Nazi? Send them to rjljohnson [dot] janet [at] gmail [dot] com.

Speak up:

10 comments

| TAGS:

, ,