Janet Sumner Johnson
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Driver X

IH8SK8S – The Story Behind the Plate

Jun

20, 2011 |

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Thank you to everyone who chimed in with their own backstory to the now infamous license plate “IH8SK8S.” I enjoyed reading them. But here’s the skinny:

Driver X is haunted by a past filled with tragedy related to skates. And I know most of you thought ice skates, but you’re all wrong. They were roller skates.

Incident #1: Christmas, Driver X is 6.

All she wanted for Christmas was a pair of roller skates. She sent several letters to Santa detailing her desires, and even endured sitting on Santa’s lap at the mall to be double sure he got the message. She left catalogs open on her parent’s bed with the exact make, model and size circled in bright pink marker. She just knew she was going to get those skates.

She didn’t. Worse, her older sister got a pair.

Incident #2: Two years later, what has come to be known as “The Incident.”

The Elementary School Driver X attended sponsored a skating night at the local skating rink. Unfortunately, because Driver X didn’t get that pair of skates for Christmas two years earlier, she was a lousy skater. Halfway around her first circle, she fell and broke her hand. Her right hand. The one she writes with.

Normally, this wouldn’t matter, but the next day happened to be when Jeopardy! for Kids was administering a test at her school to qualify participants. Driver X not only missed the test, but her chance for fame.

Incident #3: Eight years later.

A rash of vandalisms had been perpetrated against her High School by a self-proclaimed “Skating Bandit.” Desperate to find the culprit, the administrators performed a secret, systematic locker check.

Normally, this wouldn’t matter, but guess who brought a certain pair of roller skates owned by her older sister to school that day as part of an assignment to give an oral report on an unhappy childhood memory?

Eight weeks of community service AND an incident report added to her permanent record. We won’t mention the trips to the psychologist.

Final Incident: Ten years later.

Driver X had finally lived down her reputation as a dangerous criminal. She had met the man of her dreams and was on a walk with him in Central Park.
She detected a certain square-shaped bulge in his jacket pocket and just knew this was THE day. Right up until that stupid girl on roller skates crashed into her honey, landing smack on top of him.
He never proposed. Ten months later, she saw the announcement in the paper that he and stupid skater-girl were engaged.
Oh yeah. Driver X hates skates. With a passion.
Note: This story is fictional. Any similarities to persons living or dead is completely coincidental. 😉

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