Janet Sumner Johnson
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A Little Mo[u]rning Humor

Jul 28, 2011 Uncategorized 18 comments

For whatever reason, I have been feeling OLD lately. Definitely an all-caps kind of feeling. Rather than whine about it, I present my method of coping for your viewing pleasure. Yup, it’s a list:

Top 10 Hints You Might be Getting Old
  1. You can’t ride a roller coaster without taking drammamine first.
  2. You know whether or not it’s going to rain by listening to your knee. 
  3. When channel surfing, you pause on the Face Cream info-mercial promising to erase those wrinkles; then have to force yourself not to pick up the phone when they say you only have 15 minutes left to get the deal.
  4. 30 doesn’t seem old anymore.
  5. 40 doesn’t seem old anymore.
  6. [For women] Going anywhere without make-up is not an option.
  7. [For men] Rogaine doesn’t seem so implausible anymore.
  8. The parents of the cute little family next door were born the year you graduated from High School.
  9. Your child asks you how old you were when the dinosaurs went extinct.
  10. The kid working at the local 7-11 calls you ma’am/sir.

Do you have any to add?


18 Responses to โ€œA Little Mo[u]rning Humorโ€

  1. 11. You give out candy bars to perfect strangers

  2. storyqueen says:

    OG #8!!

    Nothing makes you feel older than that.

  3. LTM says:

    LOL! #5–it doesn't!!! ๐Ÿ˜€ #8 = sad, but true… OMG! #9 totally happened to me. Sigh. But in the south, everyone is ma'am. I started getting that at 25, so I'm not so put out. But long gone are the days of getting carded~ ((hugs)) you're not older, you're better <3 NTM

  4. Myrna Foster says:

    Playing sports hurts more than it used to.

  5. Beth says:

    You only buy clothes that camouflage.

  6. I guess I don't qualify as 'old' yet but that list made me laugh!

  7. Shallee says:

    How about when the kids you babysat back in high school now have kids of their own? That was a recent shocker to me.

    And don't worry, judging by your cute profile pic, you don't look as old as you probably feel. ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. Yat-Yee says:

    13) everyone on the church band you play in was born the year you got married or later.

    14)A boy asked the bakery to write, "happy 29th, Mom!" on the cake and your son whispers, "Mom you're so much older."

  9. How about this one…You love your husband more because you can get botox??? Yep, I love my husband! No one tells you everything about getting older…I went to the foot doctor and he told me I needed to do calf stretches because as we get older (45) our calves get tight and cause us foot pain… No one told me that in the Getting Older Guide for Dummies???

  10. They have a Getting Older Guide for Dummies??? Sigh. Children you babysat have children of their own – who are in junior high or older. You realize you've turned into your parents – complete with wiry chin hairs you can't see and no one has told you about.

  11. Hi Janet .. looks like your list could expand exponentially! Sharon's calf-stretches .. glad I read that .. I spend way too much time sitting – so I definitely need to get out and exercise ..

    Now – been driving over 40 years .. is the one I have to keep quiet about!!

    Cheers – I just don't think about it .. thankfully .. Hilary

  12. Sangu says:

    I am laughing myself silly over the dinosaurs. Oh dear.

  13. MikeS says:

    I think you should specify that number 3 is only for women. For men, it would be the ATV commercials.

  14. You can remember when TV didn't have color and there were less than 5 channels to choose from.

    Fun post!

  15. You wake up with that morning after feeling, when you didn't do anything the night before!

  16. It wasn;t that long ago when I was called dude or hey man. Sir? What's up with that. I tell people, please don't cal me sir. Its just kinda … weird.

  17. Clara says:

    Hahahaha, number 10 happens to me every time. Great post, absolutely loved this! : D

  18. Amie Kaufman says:

    Oh, that reassessing of what's old… 30 always seemed so ancient!

    For me, it's also when technologies you relied on just ceased to exist. Just think, there's a whole generation out there who have never used a pencil to try and wind the tape back inside a cassette…

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