Janet Sumner Johnson
About Author Visits Blog Books Events Contact PB&J Society

vacation

A Day in the Life: Weekend Vacation

Dec

03, 2012 |

Filed in:

Uncategorized

This past weekend, I took my family on a mini-vacation. Okay. I thought it would be a vacation, but that’s not exactly how it turned out. Here’s a summary of what took place:

8:00 AM

Pack, pack, pack.

Remember email I forgot to send.

Write email . . . Oh, look at the pretty Twitter . . .

11:00 AM

Drag myself away from the computer.

ME: “Shoes on everyone! Go to the bathroom! Move! Move! Move!”

CHILD: “But I don’t have to go to the bathroom! I WON’T GO TO THE BATHROOM!”

ME: “Just do it! . . .” Blah, blah, blah, channeling my parents, etc.

Buckle all kids in the car.

ME: “Wait! I forgot the camera, let me just run in and grab it.” Oh, dishes in the sink . . . can’t leave dirty dishes . . .

12:00 PM

Drive off.

12:10 PM

CHILD: How long have we been driving now?

12:11 PM

CHILD: How long have we been driving now?

12:11:30 PM

CHILD: How long have we been driving now?

ME: ASK THAT QUESTION ONE MORE TIME AND I’LL TURN OFF THE MOVIE!!!

1:00 PM

CHILD: “I have to go to the bathroom, and I can’t wait!”

Grumble, grumble, lecture.

1:05 PM

Stop at gas station. Make sure EVERYONE goes to the bathroom.

1:30 PM

3rd CHILD: “I have to go poopy!”

Sigh.

4:30 PM

Pull in to Hotel parking lot.

HUSBAND: “This is where we’re staying?

4:45 PM

CHILDREN: “I’m bored! Can we turn on the TV?”

“No!”

Game of tag begins over bed, through bathroom, under my feet.

 Uncontrolled laughter.

High-pitched screeching.

4:50 PM

Turn on the television.

9:30 PM

Climb into bed.

10:00 PM

THUMP!

Climb out of bed, put 2nd child back in bed.

Get back in bed.

10:15 PM

THUMP! THUMP!

Climb out of bed, put 2 children back in bed.

10:30 PM

THUMP!

2nd child gets back in bed on his own. On the wrong side.

Lays back . . . THUMP . . .

2nd CHILD: “Owww!”

Climb out of bed, put child back in bed.

11:00 PM

3rd child climbs into our bed.

11:30 PM

Wake up to an elbow in the head.

12:00 AM

 Wake up to find child sleeping on husband’s head.

3:31 AM

Stare at clock and wonder why I can’t sleep!

3:32 AM

Feel springs poking me and remember why.

3:33 AM

Decide there is no way we are staying the second night.

6:30 AM

CHILD: “WAKE UP! IT’S MORNING TIME!”

Breakfast.

Park

Lunch.

2:00 PM

Decide to try local amusement park before getting an early start home.

Purchase tickets online. Non-refundable.

Pull onto road for the 2 minute drive and discover that everyone else in the whole town made the same decision.

“I’m bored!”

“I’m bored!”

“This is no fun!” 

4:30 PM

Arrive at amusement park.

Fight through crowds.

Ride rides.

7:00 PM

Christmas parade

8:00 PM 

Get in line for bus back to parking lot

9:00 PM

Arrive in parking lot.

Drive home

10:30 PM

Stop for gas. Potty break.

11:00 PM

Pull over to side of road for potty break.

11:30 PM

“Help! Dad, help! My stomach hurts!”

Pass back a plastic bag.

12:30 AM

Arrive home, send kids up to bed.

12:31 AM

Go inside.

ME: “What is that awful smell?”

12:32 AM

Head upstairs. Discover trail of puke up stairs toward my room.

1:00 AM

Finish cleaning puke. Vow to buy a carpet cleaner.

Vow to reconsider next vacation.

Tuck children into bed.

2nd CHILD: “Mom, this was the best day ever.”

Vow to reconsider reconsidering next vacation.

So how was your weekend?

Speak up:

13 comments

| TAGS:

, , , ,

I’m Back!

Sep

01, 2010 |

Filed in:

Uncategorized

Wow, so I feel like I’ve been gone an eternity or so. Blogging? What’s that? Now I have to re-learn all this stuff.

But the trip was good, minus the not good stuff. And I definitely have some ranting fun stories to share. I’ll save those for other blogs. Just wanted to pop back in, after my long absence, and say “HEY YA’LL! I’VE MISSED YOU!!”

So what is the funnest thing you did in August?

Speak up:

13 comments

| TAGS:

, , ,

Sympathetic Listener

Aug

03, 2010 |

Filed in:

Uncategorized

So my husband got home from work yesterday and told me this story:

“I was almost to my car when I felt something itching my neck. I reached up to scratch, and this BIG, FAT cockroach zoomed around my head and landed on the ground in front of me. So disgusting!”

And he shivered with the grossness of it all.

Being the loving and concerned wife that I am, I immediately began wondering how I could use his experience in a book. (Of course, I shiver with the grossness of it, too.)

Do you do this? Hear or see something yicky that happens, and start thinking books instead of sympathy?

So before I end, I have to tell you I’ll be succumbing to summer vacation. I might pop in from time to time, but I’ll be on vacation most of August. I can already feel myself going into withdrawals,  . . . but it’ll make it that much more exciting come September. See you all in a month!

Speak up:

23 comments

| TAGS:

, , ,