Port Authority

Water Is Dangerous

When news of Hurricane Irena came, I happened to be vacationing in Virginia Beach with my husband’s family. The morning before we were scheduled to evacuate, the Port Authority came by and posted this flag next to our waterfront beach house:

Now, I won’t go into all the implications for the real-life scenario of this posted warning (rip-tides, being pulled under, etc.).

Rather, I am sending out a warning to all those contemplating entering the waters of writing.

WARNING: Water Is Dangerous

1. Book Brain. All spare brain power (and brain power that isn’t so spare) is sucked into the void that is called plotting. Side effects include burned dinners, failure to pick up loved ones at scheduled times, taking wrong exits on the interstate, etc.
2. Carpal Tunnel. Numbness of hands and mind. All that typing and writing can only lead to one thing. I mean besides a book.
3. Schizophrenia. Voices whisper in your mind. Worse, they don’t listen to you.
4. E-mail Addiction. Neurotic need to constantly refresh your inbox. Because surely that agent whose had your ms for a day will finally respond NOW (as opposed to twenty seconds ago).
5. Shattered Ego Syndrome. Certainty that your written work is crap. This includes Works-in-Progress, comments on blogs, and even grocery lists (because seriously, did you misspell Brocolli Broccoli again?)

Now let the records show. You have been warned!

So, what warnings would you add?

Speak up:

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