With Valentine’s Day coming up, chocolate seems to be a favorite subject. It’s like an unwritten law that you should give chocolate away to the one you love. Cause who wouldn’t like chocolate, right?

Right.

My father-in-law practically lives off chocolate (or at least he likes to give that impression. But I’m on to him. Snickers are replacing the pure stuff). My own mother loves chocolate. Particularly dark chocolate. She used to keep a stash of Hershey’s in her closet. My dad can down his fair share of a Special Dark. My sister always jokes about getting her chocolate fix. And my second son would eat it all day if I let him

And it’s not that I don’t like chocolate. Exactly. I just don’t like PLAIN chocolate. Seriously, I can’t eat it. Put it on something else, add something to it, and I can usually eat it, no problem. Even in brownies or as cake. Fine. But plain? My stomach just turns.

Every few years, I tell myself this dislike is just in my mind. That surely if I tried some really good chocolate, I would like it. I mean, who doesn’t like chocolate?

But nope. I can’t even make it through a square. I have to spit it out and rinse my mouth.

I can see you rolling your eyes. But alas, there it is. Now I personally don’t mind so much, but my husband bemoans holidays such as Valentine’s Day for this reason.

Being the sensitive, amazing husband that he is, he wants to do something nice for me for Valentine’s Day . . . nothing expensive, but something to show me how much he adores my fantabulous awesomeness, 😉 BUT, here’s his dilemma:

Chocolate is so out.

Flowers die (that’s from me not him). Not that I’d hate flowers, of course. But they die. And then I have dead flowers that I forget to throw away, sitting in a vase with brown, crusty water. And who want brown, crusty water?

I’m a plant killer. Black thumb. (At the moment this is literal, too, since my kids played with markers today. Big mistake.) Then I have a plant with brown wilted leaves and flowers that I FEEL GUILTY throwing away because it’s like hiding the body. Plantocide. I keep thinking, if I add water it’ll come back to life. Maybe if you’re a plant whisperer. But otherwise it just creates mold. Just so you know.

I don’t like jewelery. Yeah, I know. . . . diamonds are a girl’s best friend and all that, but no. I don’t even remember to wear my wedding ring.

Clothes would work if only he understood my complicated sense of style. (“These jeans may be the same brand, cut, and size, but don’t you notice the different shading of dark blue?!”)

Gift cards are too impersonal (his thoughts, not mine).

And what does that leave? So really, that’s what I’m asking you. What do you suggest as a perfect Valentine’s gift?