I am a person with strong opinions. Only natural considering my family loves to discuss. After meals, we’d sit around the family room and “passionately discuss” (my husband’s euphemism for the sport). I never thought much about it until my then-boyfriend, now-husband sat in with us. He was shocked that we hadn’t all leaped over the coffee table to beat each other up. I was shocked at his take on the evening.
But since that time, I have thought a lot about how a discussion can come across. Especially in the last few years, given the explosion of social media. I love discussing things passionately, but I have been amazed at how quickly a discussion turns to mud-slinging on the internet.
Instead of discussing issues, people turn to name-calling. Anyone who doesn’t agree with them is a jerk, and a whole slew of much more vulgar insults. To make things worse, intent of the Written Word can be much harder to interpret than that of the Spoken Word. Plus, it’s easier to be rude when you don’t have to look your audience in the eye, and it’s double easier when you can post that rudeness anonymously. The exchanges can leave you feeling like this:
Which is why I’ve hesitated to join in. Instead, I’ve kept my posts/tweets/status updates innocuous.
Once, I broke my silence. Expressed my confusion on a current Media to-do. I sincerely wanted to understand and said as much, asking commenters to keep it civil.
From that, I had a “friend” explode on me. It was crazy. She unleashed her anger on me over a slew of subjects that had nothing to do with my post, and before I could even figure out what had gone wrong, she unfriended me. And I don’t just friend anyone on Facebook. This was someone I knew well. Someone I truly considered to be a friend. It made me sad.
More thinking ensued, and in the end, I determined that I can’t avoid discussion forever. But I refuse to let others dictate my behavior. As such, I have come up with three rules of conduct for social media:
1. Treat others the way you would want to be treated (the Golden Rule, yo).
This means you gotta show respect. People will have different opinions than yours, but going all kinds of piranha-crazy-fish on them isn’t going to change anyone’s mind. When someone can express their views passionately yet respectfully, I’m much more likely to listen.
2. Let your work gel before hitting “send.”
Does what you are typing really need to be said? Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t. Let it sit for a few hours and see if you still feel that responding to something is the best choice. But ask yourself: What am I accomplishing with this tweet/facebook post/response/social-media-message-of-choice? Are you really convincing others of something, or are you speaking to dead air? Are you venting, or are you defending something that needs defending? Time gives better perspective.
3. Accept that you cannot possibly please everyone.
No matter how nicely you say something, you will find people who just don’t want to hear what you have to say. People have their own reasons for doing what they do. I’ve found people ready to be offended at nothing. We can’t change others, we can only change ourselves. But if we are respectful in what we say on social media, try to consider other’s points-of-view, well, in my book we will be happier.
What suggestions do you have for engaging in social media debates?
This weekend I finally saw Lee Daniel’s The Butler. Yes, yes,
I’m behind in the movie-going world, but that’s what you get when you have 3
kids and a husband still in training. (Let’s just say the medical path is a long one, my
**Don’t forget to enter for (link–>) a chance to win a Pre-order of RED BUTTERFLY**
Not quite two years ago, my blogging friend and I exchanged manuscripts. I knew hers was a novel-in-verse, but I didn’t know quite what to expect. Well. Let’s just say, I was blown away. Blown!
That, of course was a draft of Amy Sonnichsen’s RED BUTTERFLY. It was touching and delicate. Beautiful and surprising! I still think about this story. And even though Amy didn’t have an agent at the time, I knew it wouldn’t be long.
Last Summer it was picked up by Simon & Schuster, Books for Young Readers, and is slated for publication in Winter 2015. And I’m THRILLED to be part of her cover reveal! Go Amy!! [And I’m sure she’d love it if you stopped by her blog, The Green Bathtub, to congratulate her!]
So first, the book blurb:
And because I love this book so much, I want to give away a pre-order of it! Just enter in the Rafflecopter below, and feel free to spread the word. This contest is open to US and Canada addresses, and will close June 27th at midnight EDT. Best of luck!
Congratulations, Amy! I’m so excited for you and your beautiful book.
This is my normal posting day, but I’m kind of excited, because Amy Sonnichsen is having her cover reveal this week for RED BUTTERFLY, and I get to be part of it!
Sooooo, I need ya’ll to come back here on Friday, June 6 to see Amy’s beautiful cover. It’s beautiful guys. And perfectly perfect! I can’t wait for you to see it, and I even more can’t wait for you to read it. Will Winter of 2015 never come?!! 🙂
I’m so in love with this book, I just can’t even . . . yeah. I can’t.
See you on Friday! and P.S. if you aren’t following Amy on twitter, you seriously should be. She tweets here: @alsonnichsen
Just wanted to remember all the men and women who have served our country in the military, and give thanks.
Thank you, for your sacrifice! Thank you, for fighting for our freedoms!
Below is a picture of my grandpa:
|Grandpa Sumner is circled (in case you wondered)|
He had a limp from a horse-riding accident as a youth and so when he tried to join the Army during World War II, they wouldn’t take him. The Navy wouldn’t. The Marines wouldn’t. The Airforce wouldn’t.
But he felt so strongly about serving our country, that he kept trying. Finally, he was accepted into the Merchant Marines. During his service, his ship was torpedoed and he had to abandon it in shark-infested waters. Despite the chaos, he had the presence of mind to stop and grab his wallet, and because of that, he was able to help out his fellow soldiers when they got back to land (loan them money so they could get a hotel room, and eat and stuff).
I’m so proud of him and all others like him who give and have given of themselves selflessly. Thank you!
|There I am, circled. 🙂|
My husband found an indoor soccer place with a women’s league, and I convinced all my friends that they needed this in their lives. And it’s kindof been awesome.
It doesn’t matter that most of the women I play with have never played before. It doesn’t matter that our team is terrible (if we can keep the other team to single digits, we feel pretty good!). We are out there taking a risk. Doing something different and having fun!
And being on the field has reminded why I love this sport so much. You have to dig deep, and run harder and faster than you think you can. Even when you have nothing left, you push yourself, because if you don’t, you’re not just letting yourself down, you’re letting your teammates down.
The ball rolls free and it’s a race. Muscles tense, you fly to beat your opponent. In that moment, you forget the ache, forget the scream in your lungs, because if the other team gets it, the opportunity is gone.
If you don’t give it everything you have, you wind up like a puppet–yanked around while you, half-heartedly chase something you will never catch.
Writing is like this. As an author, you have to push yourself harder and dig deeper than you think is possible. It takes will power to make yourself sit in that chair and write. It takes focus to get those words from your brain onto paper.
And once it’s down, that’s only the beginning. Then you have to push yourself to find the story that’s hiding in there. The one that wants to come out and shine if only you can dig deep enough. If only you can get past that voice that says it’s too hard. Or that you aren’t good enough. Or that your story’s not good enough.
Push yourself! That ball is bouncing just out of reach, and if you don’t give it your all, you will wind up chasing a dream that is always just out of reach. Always so close, but never in your grasp. Instead of shining, you become a shadow of what you could be.
We won’t always win, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is knowing you gave it your all. You gave it everything you had and then you gave more. You didn’t quit. You focused. You conquered yourself and came out just a wee bit better.
And all those wee bits add up.
How do you push yourself?
I don’t know what it is, but April is akin to December at our house. Busy with all kinds of fun and crazy activities. I fully plan to tell you about my travels and the awesome writing conference I went to, but not today.
Today I wanted to share a little license plate fun.
First there was the one on the gray infiniti:
See it? In front of that white car? . . .
Okay, I was driving, and just couldn’t get the picture, but this was the license plate:
The contest is over, and we have two winners of GABY, LOST AND FOUND by Angela Cervantes:
Congratulations!! I’ve contacted you both with instructions for receiving your signed copy. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
Also, I’ll be taking a blogging break in the month of April as most people are busy with the A-Z blogfest, and life is extremely busy with kids activities and end-of-the-school-year stuff. You know how it is. 🙂
Have a happy April, and I’ll see you in May!
We make frequent trips to the library at our house (luckily it’s super close), and 10-year-old always leaves with stacks and stacks of books. I try to limit him to what will fit in the library bag–but it doesn’t always happen that way. I think it’s really interesting to see what others are reading, so here is a snapshot of just a few of his recent selections*:
What does your TBR (to-be-read) pile look like?
P.S. Don’t forget to enter for your chance to win a signed copy of Gaby, Lost and Found. You can find the Rafflecopter HERE.
*I may have read some of these, too. 😉
Back in August, one of my super sweet CP’s (Critique Partner’s), Angela Cervantes, published her debut middle-grade novel, Gaby, Lost and Found with Scholastic Press. If you haven’t read it yet, you should! It is a touching story about a girl trying to find her place when her life is flipped up-side down. Here’s the blurb:
Girlie: I’m trying to make people happy by playing with them and sharing my stuff. How do you make people happy?
Me: I love it! She definitely lives up to that. 🙂
Angela Cervantes is a poet, storyteller, and animal lover. Her poetry and short stories have appeared in various publications, including Chicken Soup for the Latino Soul. When Angela is not writing, she enjoys hanging out with her husband in Kansas and eating fish tacos every chance she gets. Gaby, Lost and Found is her first middle-grade novel. She is currently at work on her second book.
Now for the Giveaway! I have two signed (paperback) copies of Gaby, Lost and Found to give away to two lucky visitors. Just enter in the Rafflecopter below! The giveaway is open through March 31st. Good luck!